Caller: I need a fuse, part number 12AX7.
Ack: Fuse? That sounds like a tube.
Caller. A whut?
Ack: A tube, a vacuum tube.
Caller: Look here, buddy. This ain't no vacuum cleaner.
This here goes in a radio!
Walk-In Customer: I need a part. On the schematic
the part number is "d" then a "10" then another "d" and then an "e".
Ack: I don't recognize that part number. What kind
of part is it?
Walk-In: I don't know what it is. I just have the
number here on the schematic.
Ack: Let me see your schematic.
Schematic: "DIODE"
Elevator Guy: I need a box of "AA" batteries.
Ack: Would you like a box of 4, 24, or 144?
Elevator Guy: How many batteries come in a box of
24?
Customer: I need a box about 12" wide
Ack: How long do you want it?
Customer: Oh, I plan on keeping it.
Ack to Walk-In "Customer": May I help you?
Customer: No Thanks, I'm just shop-lifting.
Caller: I received my UPS order, but there also was
someone's watch packed up inside of the box.
Ack: A wrist watch? Wow.
Ack, a little later: It seems our shipping guy takes
his watch off and lays it on the UPS table while working. He accused all
of us of taking it yesterday when it came up missing! Evidently he accidentally
packed his own watch up into your order. So, we've decided to change our
name to "Cracker Ack — A Surprise In Every Box." You never know what you'll
get extra. One time it may be a watch, another time the wrong parts, or
maybe even a tract from a religious cult!
Long-Time Customer: You guys are home of the money
diode, and currency-flow arrow is pointing toward you!
Ack: We refuse to be over-sold! If you can find a
higher price anywhere else in town, we'll not only meet it, but add 10%
to it!
Ackisms
•You can't win a stink battle with a skunk.
•It takes a mighty big hog to weigh a thousand pounds.
•I feel a lot more like I do now than I did when
I got up this morning.
•The moon appears nearly twice as big as the earth,
yet its only half as far away.
•We loose money on every sale, but we make up for
it in volume.
•Like Going To Your Neighborhood Hardware Store!
•If It's In Stock, We Have It.
•Same Day Shipping If Ordered Before 2:30 PM, EST
•We Ain't Much To Look At, But We Got Great Personalities
•All Our Fuses Are Shorted!
•Our Transformers Hum Only When They Don't Know The
Words
